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2018 in Review

We had a very busy 2018, with a good deal of less-than-wonderful stuff, though overall we still are doing fine and are quite optimistic about a better 2019.

We started the year off with a wonderful, though too short, trip to Israel to visit family. We visited in Moshav Herut and went up to Naaman Winery to stay with cousins in each place, and also saw Ben’s last remaining aunt Judith, who is still in remarkably great shape.

We returned in early February to learn that Kathy’s company had over-hired in 2017, so they had a 20% layoff that included Kathy. 

To complicate our lives further, after successive great days of cross country and downhill skiing with friends, Ben blew out the MCL in his right knee while playing ice hockey – his first serious hockey injury in about 20 years of playing. Fortunately surgery was not indicated, just 8 weeks of crutches and physical therapy that began about halfway through. With more PT and a careful ramping up on the bike, recovery went very well, and Ben went back to the rink in September and now considers the knee 100%.

Kathy had been struggling with a variety of health issues since 2017, the most serious of which was exercise intolerance – just walking up a flight of stairs was exhausting. In addition, Kathy had minor surgery in March and major surgery in October. More on the health stuff below.

Our long time tenants at Cliff House in Ithaca had informed us after the 2017 season that they would not be returning, so with some regret we decided that we would put the house on the market. This involved several trip to Ithaca, the first in April, to move things out that we’d stored in the house as well as to take care of other bits of business, plus arranging “stagers”, painters, and other service providers to get the house on the market.

Also in April Ben attended the national Angel Capital Association Summit in Boston. This was revitalizing and seeded some new ideas for how early stage investing could be done, though Ben has not yet made such an investment. See his professional pages to see whether there’s progress.

At the end of April we hopped onto a plane to southern Virginia to visit Kathy’s parents and help celebrate her mother’s birthday.

In May we again took a trip up to Ithaca, this time friends Mike & Pam and Kathy’s sister Karen & husband Jeff joined us.

In June we had the privilege of attending the “white coat ceremony” for our niece, Jessica, who was moving into the clinical phase of her physician assistant program at Johnson & Wales in Providence. We’re very proud of her, and were happy that we could share in this important celebration.

Kathy’s exhaustion problems continued to worsen over the months, and the local docs were unable to find anything to hang them on, so we decided that we should try Mayo Clinic in Rochester. We spent a week out there, but they did not impress us at all – we saw no evidence of  the “team approach” so widely touted at the clinic. Nor did Kathy’s doctor exhibit the slightest curiosity about her condition – he simply ran through the same tests that had already been done in Boston and showed that Kathy’s heart and lungs were great. It was a huge disappointment, as well as a waste of time and money. The only positives were that we were able to visit nephew Jesse in Minneapolis over the weekend and kayak on the Mississippi River, plus there were some excellent restaurants in Minnesota, so we ate very well.

At the end of July we again headed up to Ithaca and enjoyed time on the lake, kayaking, eating, sailing, and just hanging out. It’s always great to spend time with Ben’s sister, Celia, and brother-in-law, Dan.

In late August we headed back down to “the river” to have a huge family reunion at Kathy’s parents’ place. Almost all the cousins were there with significant others, as well as a second cousin and family. For a few meals we were feeding 23 people! Everyone pitched in, though, and we had a wonderful time.

Since we had not traveled enough yet, we popped up to Maine with our friends Rick & Gitte to their cabin on Highland Lake. That place is always so relaxing that it immediately erases all stress from the drives up and back.

In mid-September we headed down to Brooklyn to attend nephew Jeff’s wedding to Ariella. This was an incredibly huge bash on the harbor overlooking the Statue of Liberty. 

In early October we headed West to the Bay Area to visit friends and attend a wedding. As usual, the hospitality at Portola Vineyards was second to none, and we thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Ben’s “other family” there, as well as exploring some parts of the California coast that we’d not seen before. The wedding was also a great affair, beginning with a pizza party at the happy couple’s home, then the gala wedding at the Waterbar restaurant under the Bay bridge, finally ending with brunch the next day at a great dim sum place.

When we returned to Boston Kathy went into surgery to repair a torn tendon in her hip. Over the late summer the orthopedist had finally been permitted (by insurance protocols) to take an MRI when physical therapy was proving ineffective to improve Kathy’s hip pain, which had been attributed to bursitis. The MRI had shown a complete rupture, so surgery was the result. Recovery is ten weeks on crutches with physical therapy for at least six months. Fortunately, we’d held on to the “racing crutches” Ben had used for his knee. These are far superior to normal crutches and are highly recommended if you’re in need.

We had received and accepted an offer on Cliff House in the early fall, so we planned to visit Celia and Dan for Thanksgiving, hoping that we might also extend the visit to clear out the house and close the sale. Things didn’t work out that way, so Kathy and Ben instead were forced to relax and partake of all the fine food that was offered.

When we returned to Boston, what we thought was the final hurdle for the house sale got cleared, so suddenly we were in a hurry to empty the place. Ben dashed back up to Ithaca, leaving Kathy holding the fort (on crutches) with the pets in Boston. Ben and Dan then spent a crazy week packing, moving furniture out to consignment or donation, and emptying the garage of decades worth of junk for the dump (measured at over half a ton). Our two heroes got the job done in time for Ben to run back to Boston and join the annual dinner with our friends Rick and Mike who almost share Kathy’s birthday. Of course Gitte & Pam were there as well to help celebrate.

Because of Kathy’s hip, we had earlier opted out of a proposed trip to New Zealand with Ariana. Instead, we visited her for her 35th (!) birthday. We had a lovely time in LA, enjoying cool-to-them-but-warm-to-us weather, taking walks, visiting botanical gardens, watching movies, and eating well. 

Ariana has been acting as our agent on the condo association, which is in the process (not unusual, apparently, in LA) of suing the builder and insurance company to get compensation for poor construction of the building, not up to code. It’s an almost thankless job that Ariana has been instrumental in moving forward. Almost thankless, but we, at least, do thank her from the bottom of our hearts.

Just before Christmas we learned that there was one final glitch before the sale of Cliff House could close. We bent over backwards to get everything done and the sale finally closed in late January (yay!).

Kathy and Ben set off for Long Island via the Orient Point ferry on Christmas Eve. We took an AirBNB in East Hampton to spend a few days with Ross and Hollie, who arrived late that evening. The place was very nice and cozy, with a fireplace. On Christmas day we hiked at Napeague State Park, probably a bit longer than was entirely advisable for Kathy’s hip, but it worked out fine. The next day we walked on Two Mile Hollow beach while Kathy sat and watched the surf. Dinner was out at Scarpetta Beach, an excellent restaurant in Montauk. We also did jigsaw puzzles and watched a movie. Kathy and Ben saw sunset on the beach the last night. A very pleasant time spent with the two young doctors!

That pretty well covers the events of the year that are tied to particular dates, and if you’ve gotten this far, you’re very diligent. There were also a number of things consuming our time, energy, and attention over the year. First among these, perhaps, was the political situation in the US and the world, which kept our anxiety levels higher than they should have been at all times. We hope for some progress on this front in 2019.

We also dealt with, and in some cases are continuing to deal with:

Kathy’s dad’s health. Al has been in and out of the hospital half a dozen times over the past few months with unknown issues that have been getting in the way of working on most serious known issue, namely kidney failure requiring dialysis. All four kids have been helping out, either in person or remotely, trying to help the somewhat clueless medical folks down there figure things out. In the end it turned out that he had a severe reaction to one of the medications he was given. Kathy’s brother Kevan was diligent researching this issue and persistently bringing it to the doctors’ attention until they finally took it seriously. We’re cautiously hoping that Al’s condition is more stable at this point.

Ben’s knee and Kathy’s hip kept the crutches far too busy, and kept the other member of the marriage hopping to serve the more crippled one. Pretty stressful. Kathy’s other heath issues also caused a fair amount of stress, since playing “stump the doctor” is very tiring itself.

Over the summer Ben investigated taking a “real job”. There were a variety of reasons to consider working, but so far the right position has not appeared.

We also spent a lot of time making arrangements and fretting over the house sale in Ithaca, which was far more complicated and a lot less rewarding than we expected. It also had a good deal of “hurry up and wait” episodes, which are also tough.

One of our best friends had been fighting stage four cancers since mid-2017 and she passed away in January 2019 after a good deal of suffering through 2018. We miss her every day.

So 2018 goes into the books as a moderately lousy year, with a few high points. As mentioned before, we’re looking to 2019 to be a major improvement. One major reason for hope is the new addition expected in Ross and Hollie’s household in mid-February: they’re expecting a son, our first grandchild, and we’ll be spending a good deal of time in New Haven during the spring. A new adventure for us — we’ll let you know how it goes!

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